Saturday, July 26, 2014
The Big “O”
Another one of life's scintillating paradoxes...sex can trigger a migraine and an orgasm can relieve one?! So, let me get this straight, in addition to sex, stress and certain foods are also triggers. I know I'm stressed. Who isn't? There’s one trigger. Add bananas, which I absolutely love (yep, a trigger food), ooh covered in chocolate (you got it, another trigger), followed by a marathon romp in the hay and I have a migraine?
That leaves me with just two choices then. I can give up sex and foods that I love and become a ravenous nun (just kill me now) or I can live with the daily migraines and remain a chocoholic sex fiend.
Decisions, decisions! Sex or chastity? Gluttony or starvation? Is it me, or do those choices appear to have some sort of biblical implications? Since migraines are already Hell and it would be Hell giving up my favorite foods and sex, it seemed as if I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. That is until I happened upon this crazy contradiction.
I actually discovered the secret curative powers of the orgasm quite by accident during sex and only because I wasn't willing to demand coitus interruptus just because my head felt like it was going to explode. Such drastic measures would necessitate the headache being worse than the sex was good. That's never happened despite some excruciating migraines.
I'll have you know that I'm not alone and therefore not a freak, not certifiably anyway. Almost half of the women surveyed in a study at the Headache Clinic at Southern Illinois University got complete relief from a migraine after the "Big O".
The more I learn, the more I like this treatment, especially when compared to prescription drugs. I can see one side effect though...drowsiness. That shouldn't be a problem because I'm not in the habit of driving a car or operating dangerous machinery immediately after knocking boots.
Armed with this study and my own personal experiments, at my next headache appointment I am demanding that my neurologist write me prescriptions for the Kama Sutra and a gigolo. I can see me now trying to explain to Blue Cross and Blue Shield why those are medically necessary.
So, if participating in the glorious union of two writhing bodies makes your head throb, just remember, keep your eye on the prize. Take it from me, chances are your head won't go boom, but if it does...what a way to go!